Silence (Part 2)

Keep it down now.

Religion is an incredibly important part of who I am. My love for God has guided me to some pretty interesting places in my life. This past year has been a revelation for me, spiritually. 

I have remained silent, listening close for guidance.

In the silent times with God, I have grown in strength, love and understanding in my faith.

"And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Hush, be still." And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm."

-Mark 4:3

Part 2

I have always believed in God. My faith started at a young age. My mother told me, when I was little, I used to say "I saw angels sitting at the foot of my bed at night." She was so happy with me stating this; she went out and bought me a beautiful portrait of an angel for my bedroom. She said I looked at the picture funny when she handed it to me. I simply shook my head and told her that was not what angels looked like.

I have always gone to Church. I remember a time when everyone I knew seemed to be there every Sunday morning. Going to Church and worshipping God was as normal as going to school or work during the weekday. I began to notice a definite change in the number of people who didn't go to Church during the end of my high school years, and early twenties. They didn't just not go, they didn't even believe.

A lot of people I know today do not believe in God, or if they do they do not like the concept of going to Church. I have listened to a lot of reasonings and excuses. When it gets brought up, I will say I am a faithful follower. I have also said I am a Bible nerd and love Jesus (that tends to lighten the mood and give people a little laugh). I try not to push my beliefs on people to the point they become defensive. I have remained silent in my words and have prayed that they will see God more through my actions. 

I tend to say the same prayer every morning lately. I pray for God to help me try to be a beacon of light throughout the day. I pray that His will be done through my words and actions, so people can see the joy and love of Christ Jesus. I pray for His help, and that He guide me, and help me see what I need so I can help where I can.

The Bible teaches the path to God is a narrow one. I have stood silently in the forest of this life listening for God's voice to guide me to that long and narrow path and help me to remain there...

My husband is Catholic. A lot of people don't know that he was discerning the priesthood before he and I started seeing each other. God had other plans, and I am so blessed for that. I had never been to Mass before, but knowing how important it was to him I decided to go with him. I remember being at a complete loss. I didn't know when to stand, when to sit or when to kneel. I didn't know how to respond when everyone else was. I didn't know I couldn't accept Communion and was amazed at how important it was during the Mass. I have always gone to a Protestant church, and really had no understanding of the Catholic faith.

I started off going to Mass with Bryon once a month. As time went on I began to understand the Mass as a whole. Bryon, having a degree in Theology, was a big help in answering my questions and intrigues. Everything was beginning to make so much sense! For the first time, in a long time, I was feeling a spiritual growth. For so long I was at a stand still. Soon, I was going to Mass on Sunday more than I was going to my own church. 

After much prayer, I recently have decided to join the Catholic Church; the universal Faith. I haven't been this excited in a long while! I know God is leading me in this direction because I have listened. My prayer life has become richer, my knowledge of Church history, from Biblical times to the present, has expanded. My heart has begun to open to a greater love!

I had so many misconceptions about the Catholic faith. The intimate relationship of God comes from every word and every object in the Church and its teachings. I am so excited to be heading on this journey. I am currently working with the priest of our parish every week to prepare me for my confirmation and first Holy Communion. I am learning so much from these meetings, and hopefully by Easter Vigil (or earlier) I will be confirmed. On that day I will be able to accept Communion for the first time as a Catholic.

I will always remember having a fascination with the story of the Last Supper when I was a child. One night, I remember seeing leftover bread out on the dinning room table. I took my small glass of water over and picked up a slice. At the table, I reenacted the story of the Last Supper from what I remembered from Sunday school. This is my body, this is my blood... the feeling that overtook me was one I still remember to this day. I felt love. I felt the presence of God.

As of late, I am reminded of this memory often... I know the day I enter into the Church fully, I will not only remember that, but I will feel exactly how I felt that night: pure. God continues to push me and help guide me to a greater purpose. In my silence, I have listened and learned... and now I shall speak.

End.., for now.

Silence (Part 1)

I have been silent on here for quite some time.

It is weird for me. I am usually the one to come out and speak my mind freely on the topics of life, love, religion, current events and personal experience... But for a long while I have chosen to sit back and simply be the observer. I have shut my mouth, listened and tried to make sense of everything going on around me. 

I have kept a lot in, but in the silence I have made some fascinating discoveries.. 

In the past few months I have found it most amazing how many people have spoken up and have broken through different walls of silence. The sound is a loud, chaotic crash of thunder with bright bursts of lightening! We must keep in mind a storm can serve both good and bad purposes though...

While I have been silent on social media, the world has blown up. It makes me feel I am way out of the norm, when it comes to my friends and peers.

This year I will be turning thirty. I have had some time to reflect on the early twenties me to the late twenties me as of now. The early twenties me saw life a lot differently... Back then I really had no plans for the future. I was outspoken, living for the day, trying new things, surrounded by a ton of friends, etc... I was finding me. Everything was a major learning experience.

I was a bright little girl, a mere speckle in a really big world. I had some great times. I had some not so great time...That's life, after all.

Now that I am older, I am finding my views on love, politics and religion have evolved into something greater than I have ever imagined possible. 

In the next couple of posts I intend to explore major topics which have weighed heavy on my mind. I in no way want to offend anyone; but, lets be honest, a lot of people seem to be offended by nearly anything you say or do anymore. I honestly think that is another reason I have been so silent. I don't want to offend, and I want to be informed on what I would be speaking about.

So please take these words and opinions of mine as abstractions on what I am personally feeling and going through. Everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with that.

Part 1

Early twenties me had no thoughts of marriage or children. I was fine with a boyfriend going out and having fun. I cared a lot about my relationships, but there was always something missing. But I was stubborn beyond all reason. Stubbornness made it hard for me to listen to any voice of reason. I guess I never realized until recently I needed and deserved something so much more. One day I finally sat down, reflected and prayed on finding that right somebody for my life. I prayed hard. I knew what I had to do, and I took that first big step toward finding that right person for me. The person to experience all of life with. True love hit me quicker than I could have every imagined when I made that step. Bryon entered my life like a comforting breeze and there he will always remain to stay...

Saying "I do" and marrying my best friend was the best day of my life. It was also the first time I felt like a true woman. Now that we have been married for a little over a year, we are excited and talking about plans for a future family. I have never longed to have a child so badly. To carry a precious gift in my womb for nine months, and for Bryon and I to provide that baby with love for the rest of our days fills me with joy. the kind of joy I cannot even put into words. For now, we are getting ourselves where we need to be, and then hopefully soon we will be working on adding to our Ferriot household.

Marriage and family life has really made me think, especially with all the women's marches and movements that have gone on in the past couple of months, I will break my silence. Early twenties me was pro-choice. Now I am pro-life. I am at the point in my life where the thought of losing a precious child is completely unbearable. There are so many arguments people make about this topic, but in my eyes, it doesn't matter how early in the pregnancy, or the potential abnormality: it is a life. A precious life. I personally feel there are so many different alternatives to abortion. As far as Planned Parenthood, I feel there are way better options out there for young women... It seems like a lot of women see these two as their only options. But there are so many more alternatives out there.

Early twenties me would have participated in women's marches. Late twenties me will just go for pleasant stroll in the opposite direction. I am not against my fellow women standing up and making a positive change. I suppose I'm not quite on the same page with some women, on some of the arguments being made. I see no change in my rights, and I feel women have held the high cards in the most important of situations, and usually still do (especially when it comes to the opposite sex). We have so much "girl power" in this world we ought to stand proud, while remaining humble. Again, I am a little bit more old fashioned now then I was just a few years ago.

With this being said, I do not think we should live in a chauvinistic world. I think the #metoo movement is a wonderful way for women and men to come together on what is not right, and say no one has to go through such things alone. People should be held accountable for their actions, especially when it comes to indecent misconduct. I will say, I am not for the men and women who are using this cause for attention, or a vendetta. Come on... not cool.

Also, I am for the equal rights of every individual... BUT... There has to be a line drawn when it comes to certain topics. All I am going to say is every person should treat every other person with the outmost respect and show love with a pure heart. A little bit of "nice" will go a long way in our over judgmental world. If we treat each other as equals, maybe we all wouldn't be so offensive and feel as though one group of people have more rights than another? 

Again, I am just breaking my silence. I mean no offense. This is just the start of my personal observations that have been bundling up in my head. 

End.., for now.